OH GOD, HELP

[spaggel]

Just worked a 10am to 10pm shift today. (this was a waken up at 7am to a getting called into work 4 hours early shift) I feel like I have giving my soul up, MY VERY SOUL. So I just want a little something to ask of the world, and really? fandom.

WOULD YOU PLEASE WRITE RODNEYSAUR/JOHNRAPTOR FIC? MANIPS? I GIVE CANDY AND COOKIES AND OTHER THINGS.

example:
cookiesnbooze: WITH JOHN TAPING HIS LITTLE CLAW WAITING FOR RODNEYSAUR TO SHUT UP
cookiesnbooze: AND THEN PUSHING HIM ON HIS BACK
cookiesnbooze: AND RODNEYAUR WAVING HIS LITTLE ARMS AROUND
lcsbanana: APPROVED


But really, all I want is something so freaking dorky and stupid, teyla ass raping people, john writing in his little journal where he stores the bitter tears of his emo youth? maybe a photomanip of assbabies? LIKE IN CHOPCHICA'S FIC? Really, I promises I will do WHATEVER YOU WANT IN RETURN. Just something to ease the pain for 12hour shifts this week :(

EDITED FOR EXAMPLE:

Comments

[bluebrocade.livejournal.com]

RODNEYSAUR/JOHNRAPTOR FIC

With sex scenes? That could get ugly.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

no, no sex. their love runs deeper then that, it spans millions of years. until they wake up the dreams of their past and made sweet "i was once a t-rex" "oh yeah, yeah" love

[eliade.livejournal.com]

cookiesnbooze: WITH JOHN TAPING HIS LITTLE CLAW WAITING FOR RODNEYSAUR TO SHUT UP
cookiesnbooze: AND THEN PUSHING HIM ON HIS BACK
cookiesnbooze: AND RODNEYAUR WAVING HIS LITTLE ARMS AROUND

And then Johnraptor scratches Rodneysaur's tummy with a claw and Rodneysaur makes some little grumbling noises but his eyes go all slitted and his tail is twitching happily, and Johnraptor bites his chin. There's a sudden burst of wild thrashing as they wrestle and roll together, nipping each other with teeth, claws scrabbling madly, with little snarly, muttery, dinosaur growls, like an argument's going on, then Rodney starts doing this repetitive kicky thing with one leg, like a dog does when it's being rubbed in a happy place, aaaannnnnnd...we fade to black.

(But the throaty muttery sounds continue until they sound more like a series of moans, followed by some yips, and finally sighs.)

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

I... I love you. YOURE SO PRETTY :((.

...Does rodneysaur bite chayaraptors head off when she comes lifting her skanky tail up around john? DOES HE?

[custardpringle.livejournal.com]

YOU HAVE DINOSAURCOMICS ICONS.

Where'd you get them?

[margueritem.livejournal.com]

Is there any way to bribe you into writing more of this? Hmmmmmmm? Please? *tries to look cute like a hedgehog*

[fan-this.livejournal.com]

OMG. THAT'S A MUMMU, ISN'T IT????

:joins John with the crying in the corner and definitely does not put her hand on his ass at all:

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

Well, it was a mumu or a fuzzy pink bathrobe with "diva" on it. I took the high road.

[turtlespeaks.livejournal.com]

*HUGGLES* Aww, work sucks!

*looks at picture*blinks*rubs eyes* OH DEAR GOD, IT'S EVIL!! No!! It's not evil, it's gone through evil to the other side and is so EVIL that it's actually good!! It's . . . the ULTIMATE EVIL!

Poor John, he's so sad and put-upon.

*stares aghast* I need to go bleech my brain for a while. . . *can't move for the EVIL controls her*

*joins John*

[eliade.livejournal.com]

I heart the muumuu. I...I think this makes me evil too.

[nilla.livejournal.com]

OMG PREGNANT!RODNEY IN A RED MUMU!!! I DIE!! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE! You're like totally brilliant after a 12 hour shift at work!

[dracostella.livejournal.com]

OMG, you win at everything and then some!

That picture is just brillant. I want that story!

[notpoetry.livejournal.com]

Dear Diary, John wrote, then paused and chewed on the end of his pen. Today, I stold Rodney's pudding. He called me a pack-humping army grunt with the brains of a tricerotops. Why must he malign my true love for him, which I cannot express in any way but pudding-stealing? Damn my inability to be emotionally honest with those I long for! Am I doomed to be lonely forever, with only stolen pudding to comfort me? Oh, it's 3:15, time for my daily cutting.

John put his pen down and shrugged into his black hooded sweatshirt, pulling it down low over his eyes as he shuffled into his bathroom to wash the pain away with his blood.

(I HOPE YOU KNOW I HATE MYSELF NOW. Also, my icon keywords? never more appropriate than at this moment.)

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

I don't think you hate yourself, I think you love me and want to make babies with me and that's why you did this because little john is like that one skater joke.

Q:"What's the hardest part about skateboarding?"
A:"telling your parents you're gay"

and you understand that *humps your leg*

Bitter tears of Major Emo

[brevisse.livejournal.com]

I was trying to get a friend to further "explain" emo, and she eventually gave up and said, "You know that song, Iris? There you go." And so I had to include it. (I have a feeling then when I wake up in a few hours, I'm going to be appaled and confused by this, but it's late.) *g* Feel better?
Also: MUMU YESSSSSS>

Re: Bitter tears of Major Emo

[notpoetry.livejournal.com]

omg he has emo glasses

and chuck taylors

and I MIGHT BE IN LOVE WITH MAJOR EMO

god this is brilliant, spags should suffer more if people produce this in response. SORRRY SPAGGEL, IT'S FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY

Re: Bitter tears of Major Emo

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

brevissssssssssssssssssssssssssse *molests you*

oh GOD, this is so wonderful. little zelenka is all "huh? I dunna get it :(" and rodney is going to slap sheppard and burn his clothes.

i loves you. I loves you SO MUCH, OMG <3<3<3<3

[kickthebeat.livejournal.com]

i fell asleep reading and woke up to rodney in a mumu and 50+ comments on your post. AM I TO BE REPLACED SO EASILY, SEATMATE? OH NO, NO NO NO.

alas, i am too tired to be funny or witty or adorable right now. :-< ilu best and most, my girl; i will call you back tomorrow.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

I CANNOT REPLACE YOU IF YOU ARE NEVER THERE :((

ilu seatmate, come bake to my open arms. FOR A TASTE OF THE COLD COLD WATER.

[klo-the-hobbit.livejournal.com]

*weeps with joy* I wish people like you ran the world. Or at least the airwaves. Life would be so much, well, weirder actually. But thats a good thing! Yesyes.
Now I am going to go and find my dinosaurs and stage an epic Rodneysaur Vs Chayaraptor battle. They will find me in the morning with tear tracks on my face and a happy smile *dies*
*klo*

[20thcenturyvole.livejournal.com]

AUGH! *flails* I didn't need to see that! Dear God in heaven with all his angels, I never needed to see pregnant Rodney in a mummu!

*sad, traumatised cries*

[special-trille.livejournal.com]

something dorky and stupid? for you? but of course!

a story for spaggel in which there are naked bottoms

Before pushing them into the wormhole, the villagers had taken away their weapons. Not good, John had thought, but unless they also took away their pants at least he would still have his lucky knife. Unfortunately they had been quite insistent on that point as well.

Still, he thought, looking around at the lush vegetation, if you were going to be exiled, disarmed and naked, at least a warm, tropical planet was --

"Hell," Rodney pronounced. "They have sent us to hell. They have sent us to this planet of death, this hellscape, and I'm still, in case you were wondering, blaming you entirely for the loss of my clothes!" He was crouched behind the DHD with an apparent aim at modesty. Since modesty didn't usually manifest itself in blistering monologues of one's own self worth, John decided not to mention that his bottom was poking out the other side of the device in a prominent and rather hilarious way.

"Just dial the alpha site and let's get out of here," he said.

Once Rodney had explained about the DHD being broken and about his own brilliance and John's stupidity, he moved on to their bleak future of skin cancer, starvation and death by ferocious and terrifying jungle creatures.

John was reassuring Rodney that none of those things would harm him since John was bound to end Rodney's life with his own hands, and sooner than Rodney might imagine, when they heard the growl of what sounded very much like a ferocious and terrifying jungle creature.

*********

"Wow." Rodney said sometime later. He made a few more noises of nothing approaching language, then "wow" again.

"Yes, well," John said, blushing and ducking his head. He had been totally impressive, but even so, Rodney robbed of words was still gratifying.

"No, really," Rodney said, eyes wide and incredulous, "that was one of the dumbest things I have ever seen! What made you think you could kill a leopard with your bare hands?!"

"A visualisation exercise, Rodney," John snapped, feeling greatly put-out and also feeling like he had just been totally impressive in a manner that warranted some acknowledgement. "What do you think? Adrenaline and training and the burning desire to not be killed and eaten. Besides," John muttered, prodding the carcass with his foot, "I had a rock."

**********

He didn't quite understand how, after battling with and triumphing over, not to mention skinning, a large, man-eating cat, Rodney was the one dressed in furs, regal and smug and irritating.

He looked down at his own fig leaf.

"Doesn't this strike you as a little unfair?" he asked in a tone he had not meant to come out as being quite so petulant.

"Me doing all the work while you sun yourself like a cabana boy?" Rodney said, working intently on the DHD. "Actually, yes. Go find me some food."

John gritted his teeth. "I meant the clothing situation, actually."

Rodney turned and faced him, hands on his hips, lips pulled tight in annoyance. "We discussed this. I have a sensitivity to some plants. I think the possibility of permanent damage to my..." Rodney coughed. "To me, would outweigh your primitive desire to drape yourself in trophies of the hunt."

"I just don't see why we can't go halves," John tried, but Rodney looked so scandalized, gasping and flattening one palm across his chest as if John was asking him to, oh, parade around in a leaf or something, that he gave up. "Never mind," he said, stomping off to find some fruit, far too aware of just what sort of view he gave Rodney who was, no doubt, watching him leave.

Soon, he thought, soon Atlantis would figure out where they were and send him through some pants. Any day now.

[ceares.livejournal.com]

*laughing too hysterically to comment*

[minaloush.livejournal.com]

hi. i don't really know any of you, but omg, i love you all.

i have alarmed my chinchillas with the shrill laughter that only pregnant rodney and lizardjohn can bring.

[gweneiriol.livejournal.com]

heee! Poor cowering John! Love the dress on Rodney though!

Sorry to hear about the hellacious work day!

Having been there and done that myself WAY to many times to count, I just want to say I hope you get lots of rodneysaurus/johnraptor fic soon! *hugs*

[miriad.livejournal.com]

oh sweet chrst, it's the flowrs on the maternity dress (circus tent?) that just cracks me up... oh lord, thank you so much for making my totally sucky day not suck quite so much.

[alie]

Well, I'm glad you still want Rodneysaur fic, because the one I'm writing is up to 5000 words.

Should I start posting it in segments or something?

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

no, keep writing OMG, MORE RODNEYSAUR

he will live FOREVER