A list of things

[spaggel]

That I am willing to trade my SOUL for to get.



1. Rodney as a mobster with John as his Mole. Ronon his right hand man and Zelenka as the man that 'breaks' people. Ford as John's amusement to go fly and blow-up things with.

2. The Adventures of Rodneysaur. To quote myself: "Rodney is turned into a tiny stuffed dinosaur and is all "FEAR ME *RAWR*" but they either ignore him, because they cannot see him as he is a foot tall, or hold him and cuddle him and poke his little belly.

And john takes him to bed with him, to eat the monsters under the bed"

Bonus points if Rodneysaur is eating animal crackers and gets pokes in the belly and john rubs it better

3. Cupcake Land

4. The one were john messes up and Rodney programs all the puddle jumpers to *sigh* and *whine* when John gets in. Rodney breaks his SOUL.

5. John and Rodney drunk and start doing stupid drunk things and then Rodney is all, "Yeah, well, you may be the BIGGEST SLUT EVER and have chicks all over you. but my dick is SO MUCH BIGGER and I bet I'm better at it too." And John is all, "whatever *talk to the hand*" and Rodney is all, "no no no, really. See?" And Rodney shows him and John is has to show his, and is all, "Yeah, well, it's not hard so this means NOTHING." and then Rodney gives him a hand job and makes john touch his dick too. And Rodney is still bigger and John is all, "uh, yeah, but, I'M SO MUCH BETTER THEN YOU WITH IT." And then Rodney proves him wrong.


And fer reals. I will trade whatever it takes to get this. WHATEVER. *puts body up for sale*

EDIT: I am SERIOUSLY SERIOUS about #2. Or really, any of them. I WILL DRAW YOU THINGS. I can make little icons or become your slave or WHATEVER. Seriously, serious here.

Comments

[andreanna.livejournal.com]

Spaggel, Man do I wish I was in your fandom because you are so damn awesome. These are great XD I hope someone takes you up on your offer. XDDD

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

i wish you were in my fandom too. I can send you episodes if that is what it takes :( *waves around DVD copies*

I hope people take this offer, I HOPE SO MANY DO *pray and waits*

[whatdanidigs.livejournal.com]

Man, I want to read every single on the these.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

i think everyone will. i think it's going to be a big party <3

[wtfbrain.livejournal.com]

This fandom really is the little black dress of fandoms, isn't it? :D

*waits patiently for fic*

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

It always looks SO PRETTY. <3

[basingstoke.livejournal.com]

Dude. I am totally writing #4 already.

[tingler.livejournal.com]

::happy sigh!::

[fledge.livejournal.com]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEH I want to read those! Am *almost* considering writing #2, partly just so that it WOULD be written, and partly so that I could ask you not entirely altruistically for a mood-theme based on your artwork (I've SEEN other people using them and I WANT...) ::grins and bats eyes::

But I am a terrible procrastinator and member of batagur's Slow Writers' Society so I do not give promises :/

But eeeee, poking him in the belly! And John cuddling up with him at night!! ::dies:: ^.^

[wychwood]

I think the moodtheme is free for stealing if you want it *g* slodwick made it from the art. Unless you're after a personal moodtheme which is, of course, entirely different.

[kickthebeat.livejournal.com]

you are such a slut.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

daaaw :">

I want to see this one!

[(Anonymous)]

All of those would rock out, but I really want to see something with Rodney and Ronon as kids. That picture is ingrained in my memory and until I have a fic to go with it, I will NOT be satisfied. Little Rodney and little Ronon fighting constantly.... *giggles*

Re: I want to see this one!

[logovo1.livejournal.com]

I have dreams of that fic :) The little magnet she made out that drawing taunts me every morning with its cuteness.

[not-sally.livejournal.com]

Oh dear god, yes, PLEASE!
I have four or five cracktastic plotbunnies of my own that I'll never write. There should be people you could pay who would do it for you.

[mousewitchy.livejournal.com]

Hee! Add to this, "That one where Rodney tells Ronon all about the bubonic plague and polio and smallpox and Ronon turns in to the world's biggest hypochondriac, absolutely convinced that those three red bumps in his armpit are The Black Death and Carson has to tell him no, no it's not and FOR GOD'S SAKE JOHN TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND TO STOP SCARING THE ALIENS!"

um, yeah. *koff*

Oh God, am so tempted to write number 2, except I think it would BREAK MY BRAIN OMG and nothing would ever be the same afterwards.

*bites nails*

Must. Not. Give. In.

[notpoetry.livejournal.com]

I am so, so close to writing #2, you don't even know.

GODDAMN CAFFIENE LOWERING MY INHIBITIONS.

You asked for it...

[maryavatar.livejournal.com]

John was having coffee in Elizabeth's office when Zelenka's panicked voice came over the comm.

"Dr Weir, you must come quickly! Dr Simpson has gone insane! Rodney is injured. I think..."

John trailed along behind Elizabeth as she made her way down to Rodney's lab. "I bet she just threw a coffee pot at him again. She always makes sure it's empty first, and she's got a terrible arm."

"I hope so, John. I hope so."

The lab was chaos. Simpson was sobbing loudly and clinging to Dr Kusanagi. She wasn't terribly coherent, but John managed to decipher something that sounded like, "Only trying the change his clothes."

Elizabeth grabbed Zelenka as he ran past, carrying a... net? "What's going on?"

"Oh, it's terrible," Zelenka said, pushing his glasses up. "The device we have been using to transform seaweed into edible vegetation... Simpson was..." Zelenka waved his arms and said something John was fairly sure meant 'filled with vengeance'. "Rodney was being... himself. Even more than usual." John winced. "Simpson made a tiny mistake, and he overreacted, and so she..." Zelenka pointed at the travel case that the electron microscope from the biolab had come in. It was rattling, as if something inside was moving. John walked over to look in the box, while Elizabeth concentrated on Zelenka

"Dr Zelenka?"

Zelenka's shoulders slumped. "Dr Simpson shot him with the transformation beam."

"Oh. Wow." John was staring into the box, half amused, half horrified. Scuttling around in the bottom of the box was a foot-high lizard. "You can change him back, right?"

"Yes," Zelenka said. "Probably. Almost certainly. We have tested this equipment many times."

John turned around and gave Zelenka his mild-but-not-really-mild stare. "Yeah, on vegetables. How is this going to affect a human being?"

"All the data is stored in the device and its associated files in the Ancient database. It is simply a matter of retrieving the correct information and feeding it through the device and into Rodney."

John reached down into the box and lifted up Rodney. It was weird, but he looked a little like Rodney, right down the malevolent glare being shot his way. "Hey, you know who I am, right?"

Lizard-Rodney hissed, showing some wickedly sharp little fangs. John grinned, "Oh my God, Rodney. You're a cute little lizard, aren't you?"

"Dinosaur," said one of the biologists whose name he hadn't quite memorized yet.

"What?"

Nameless biologist pointed at Rodney's feet. "He's got three toes. Lizards have five, dinosaurs have three."

John was about to reply when Lizard... Dino-Rodney started snuffling at his jacket. "What?" Rodney grabbed at the edge of the pocket zipper with his tiny front claws and yanked. "Hey! Cut it out!" Rodney made another lunge at John's jacket and managed to rip a hole with his teeth, through which he grabbed half a bar of chocolate John had been saving. The chocolate was gone in four bites, along with the foil, wrapper and some pocket lint. Then Rodney sighed, nuzzled John's chin, and fell asleep wrapped around John's arm.

"Twenty four hours!" Zelenka said, from across the room. "I can have Rodney back in twenty four hours. The transformation is more complex, but it's just a matter of making sure the information that goes in is exactly the same as the information that came out."

Elizabeth peered down at Rodney asleep in John's arms. "I suppose we'd better find a cage to put him in."

John remembered the way Rodney had been throwing himself around the microscope box, and shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. He seemed pretty stressed before. He's fine with me for just now, and it's just twenty four hours."

Re: You asked for it...

[maryavatar.livejournal.com]

Two hours later John was regretting volunteering for dinositting duty. Rodney had napped happily in John's arm, and had only made a sleepy little snort when John transferred him to the middle of his bed. John sat down and started on the ever-growing pile of paperwork on his desk, and only realized Rodney had woken up when he heard a thump and rustle that was definitely Rodney jumping off the bed and crawling underneath it.

"Uh, Rodney? What are you doing under there?"

The only answer was a scuffling noise. Then Rodney's tail appeared, wagging like a happy puppy's.

"You find something under there? There monsters under my bed?" John sat down on the floor and tried to see what was going on just in time to get hit in the face when Rodney shot out from under the bed, intent on killing one of John's socks.

"Hey! Don't eat that!" John grabbed the, now soggy, end of his sock and tried to pull it away from Rodney. Rodney made a shocked squeak and nipped at John's fingers.

"Ow!" Realising he was going to have to resort to bribery to get his sock back, John pulled a cupcake out of his desk drawer. He'd been planning on giving it to Rodney anyway, just not while Rodney was so... saurian. "Hey, Rodney. Look what I've got for you." He placed the cupcake on the floor and took a step back.

Rodney completely ignored John and continued to cheerfully worry at John's sock. John nudged the cupcake forward a little. He had experienced what it was like to get between Rodney and cupcakes before, and he wasn't keen on a repeat performance. After a moment Rodney's head jerked up and he appeared to be sniffing the air. Then he was bounding across the room, skidding slightly as he snatched up the cupcake in his front claws and began to messily devour it.

[lillyjk.livejournal.com]

I'm mightily tempted to take a crack at #5...

[norabombay.livejournal.com]

I started on the plush dinosaur one. But, as with most things, I'llprobably never finish...

[vileseagulls.livejournal.com]

John had learnt by this point that it was often best just to follow the commotion, rather than demand answers from people who were too busy having nervous breakdowns to talk. Which was how he found himself in lab three, elbowing his way to the front - poor Simmons was this close to a demotion by the time he realised it was his commanding officer demanding he move.

Then John was at the front, and looking down at the growling little t-rex toy that had somehow started to move and was trying to bite Zelenka's fingers with his little felt teeth.

"Ah! Colonel Sheppard! Here, you may take him."

"Zelenka, what the hell!" John jerked back as the dinosaur lunged for him and nearly toppled off the table in the process. "Where'd he come from?"

"It is Rodney. We're not sure what happened. Just pick him up, he can't hurt you. And he is yours now, I swear off the whole matter."

"You can't do this to me!" Rodney had latched on to his fingers by this point, and was chewing determinedly. John tugged his fingers away and poked Rodney in the belly, making him make little "rawr" noises and skitter away. Miko giggled behind him.

Zelenka had already escaped. "Fine!" John said to the room at large, and glared at the little dinosaur. Then he tugged the zipper of his vest down a bit and picked up the struggling Rodney, tucking him into his vest. "You good there?"

"Grar!" said Rodney, and chewed on his zip.

~

It was tough keeping a plushie dinosaur, John decided, looking at it wrapped around his coffee cup. Little Rodney had one leg on either side, his tail straight out behind him and his squinty little forelegs around the handle. He was gnawing on the ceramic and looking nonplussed at the lack of effect he was having.

"Are you hungry?"

"Nngrar."

"What do you even eat?"

"Rrrr."

"Fine. If you want anything, come over here." Rodney didn't move.

John went back to typing.

~

At night, John took Rodney to bed with him. There didn't seem to be any other place to put him. He fell asleep with Rodney curled up on his stomach and chewing distractedly on the top of his boxers.

He woke up at about 2am to find Rodney gone. Instantly alert, he held still, listening for any sound. Then he heard a quiet rustling and leant slowly over to peer under the bed, where Rodney was darting about, chasing little tufts of dust and making "gnarn gnarn" noises.

John giggled despite himself.

When he woke up in the morning Rodney had clambered up the blankets and was curled up by his feet, making little growly noises in his sleep.

~

After his shower, John woke Rodney up by poking him in the belly again.

"RAR!" Rodney said, and scampered to the other end of the bed. He glared for a minute, then raced forward, lunging at John's hand, missing, and going headfirst off the end of the bed.

John sniggered and picked him up, holding him in the palm of his hand. Rodney looked vastly unimpressed.

"Let's get you back to the lab. See if Zelenka's got a cure yet."

Rodney bit his fingers. John stuck him in his pocket and tried to ignore the muffled growling.

~

Zelenka was appropriately helpful when they got into the lab, though that may have been a side effect of John's glare and the "raaaaaaarr!" coming from his pocket. "Ah, yes, we may have a solution. Put him on the table, please."

On the table, Rodney promptly ran across and clung to Radek's laptop, chewing blissfully on the side of the screen. He stayed that way while Zelenka pulled a machine of some description across, aimed, and fired it at Rodney.

Then there was human Rodney, straddling a laptop on a table he was far too big for, yelping, arms flailing desperately for support, then toppling backwards onto the floor.

John laughed so hard he had to bury his face in Zelenka's shoulder to stay upright.

Rodney sulked for three weeks.

~

In my defence, I'm so drunk my mother's laughing at me.

[vileseagulls.livejournal.com]

LOOK AT THE ICON tshirtgirl MADE ME!

[emrinalexander.livejournal.com]

"Uh, I didn't bring my swimming costume. And I'm not going to get caught skinny dipping with the head of the science department, even if he is a dinosaur."

Rodney stamped his foot and bit John's left shoelace off.

GO RODNEY!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I love Rodneysaurus! Even as a foot-high dinosaur (the image of him stomping across Tokyo..er, John' desk, snapping pencils in half, needs to be drawn by someone, it does...oh god, what an image) he is bossy and imperious and snarky and just so cute! When he flops over for Teyla so she'll rub his tummy, I died (he's a very cat-like dinosaur, so obviously, dinosaurs evolved into cats). I can't wait to see what you do with them next!

[maryavatar.livejournal.com]

I really hope Spaggel draws a couple of scenes from this. I'm not going to whine, because creativity can't be controlled, but omg I'd just die if certain bits got drawn.

[emrinalexander.livejournal.com]

Rodney stamped his foot and bit John's left shoelace off.

Rawr!

Oh, this is Rodney in a nutshell, isn't it, saurian or human *G*. I am so looking forward to seeing what you do to them next *G*.

[whatdanidigs.livejournal.com]

Aww man, I am loving this.

[busarewski.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. "Rarr!" will from now on be forever Rodney =) This is soo cute, and I love it to bits.

Re: And I'm back, with more!

[busarewski.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. "Rarr!" will from now on be forever Rodney =) This is soo cute, and I love it to bits

You must put all the posts together somewhere so it can be read again and again.

Re: And I'm back, with more!

[maryavatar.livejournal.com]

All done! It's over on my LJ in all its 'glory'.

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

*ahem*

So I say: Appartently lube was a magical thing brought by fairies.

And Ki says: Also, there needs too be a magical lube fairy.

*hopefully look*

Do you want another no. 2? Because I started writing one, but Mary's was awesome, and vise wrote one so I'm not sure how many you want? I can maybe do 4 instead.

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

Oh also: And he should be Italian and hairy and wearing a wife beater and scar people emotionally. BUT WITH LUBE AND PURPLE WINGS LIKE THE TOOTHFAIRY!

Pssst. I wrote #5.

[lillyjk.livejournal.com]

The Adventures of Little Johnny and The Beast (http://lillyjk.livejournal.com/157820.html)

*points at icon*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

OMG, you prompted all the fantastic crackfic out there right now? I LOVE YOU. Seriously.

If I promise to sit quietly over here can I friend and watch for more fic and illustrations and OMG I LOVE THIS FANDOM???

Request #1 Rodney as Mobster Fulfilled

[springwoof.livejournal.com]

Hi! ::waves::

Since nobody else took it, I played with your #1 request and made a story for you. (and since it was a bit long for comment-fic, I posted it at my lj, here (http://springwoof.livejournal.com/12308.html)...)

hope you like it. It got weird on me, which was not a surprise....

wags, springwoof

[svmadelyn.livejournal.com]

I keep having this horrible thought, like, what if Rodney were turned into a stuffed animal dinosaur that one of the military guys gave to an Athosian kid, and Rodney's been like, downloaded into this stuffed animal, and he can't move just yet, so he's just being carried around by sticky, shifty children and he's utterly in hell, with the, STOP PINCHING ME, and IF YOU SIT ON MY TAIL ONE MORE FUCKING TIME and the I AM NOT THE PILLSBURY DOUGHMAN MISTER and the WHAT'S YOUR NAME PUNK, 'CAUSE WHEN I AM HUMAN AGAIN YOUR ASS IS MINE, and then one of them leaves him by like, a fire pit, and the fire's getting really close and Rodney's thinking: No! No! THIS IS NOT HOW I DIE! NOT AS A STUFFED ANIMAL IN ANOTHER GALAXY BY A FIRE PIT NOOOOO! Then John walks up and he's like, Anara, you dropped your dinosaur! And Rodney's sobbing (inside, mind you) SHEPPARD. SHEPPARD. TAKE ME WITH YOU. DO NOT LEAVE ME WITH THEM. PLEASE. SHEPP--and then they get called back to Atlantis and John hops in the puddlejumper and totally forgets he has the little dinosaur in his hand. He has to go deal with a crisis, and finds Rodney!dinosaur again and keeps him in his quarters for safekeeping until someone goes back to the mainland to return Anara's little animal, and then they figure out Rodney is missing and Rodney gets to see John totally freaking out with the, FIND HIM, FIND HIM NOW over the radio and the YOU ARE ALL INCOMPETENT, I WILL FIND HIM NOW THEN, and so on.

And of course Rodney!dinosaur would get to see John strip and turn over into the bed and be all, omg, cover your ass, cover your ass, I'm never going to get this out of my head omg, you have the best. ass. ever. Why can't I move???

And then eventually they figure out Rodney's the dinosaur and he gets turned back, of course.

I like your ideas. They plant little seeds and before you know it, you're like, actually *thinking* about them.

[neery.livejournal.com]

Ooh. I so want to read this. I want to write it, actually, but I have so many WIPs already, so, someone else should write it. Like, now.

H. Klinton vs Obama

[(Anonymous)]

H. Klinton vs Obama. How you consider, who will win elections?