Date: 2006-01-30 02:14 pm (UTC)
ext_1890: (Badfic: Smirking)
I keep having this horrible thought, like, what if Rodney were turned into a stuffed animal dinosaur that one of the military guys gave to an Athosian kid, and Rodney's been like, downloaded into this stuffed animal, and he can't move just yet, so he's just being carried around by sticky, shifty children and he's utterly in hell, with the, STOP PINCHING ME, and IF YOU SIT ON MY TAIL ONE MORE FUCKING TIME and the I AM NOT THE PILLSBURY DOUGHMAN MISTER and the WHAT'S YOUR NAME PUNK, 'CAUSE WHEN I AM HUMAN AGAIN YOUR ASS IS MINE, and then one of them leaves him by like, a fire pit, and the fire's getting really close and Rodney's thinking: No! No! THIS IS NOT HOW I DIE! NOT AS A STUFFED ANIMAL IN ANOTHER GALAXY BY A FIRE PIT NOOOOO! Then John walks up and he's like, Anara, you dropped your dinosaur! And Rodney's sobbing (inside, mind you) SHEPPARD. SHEPPARD. TAKE ME WITH YOU. DO NOT LEAVE ME WITH THEM. PLEASE. SHEPP--and then they get called back to Atlantis and John hops in the puddlejumper and totally forgets he has the little dinosaur in his hand. He has to go deal with a crisis, and finds Rodney!dinosaur again and keeps him in his quarters for safekeeping until someone goes back to the mainland to return Anara's little animal, and then they figure out Rodney is missing and Rodney gets to see John totally freaking out with the, FIND HIM, FIND HIM NOW over the radio and the YOU ARE ALL INCOMPETENT, I WILL FIND HIM NOW THEN, and so on.

And of course Rodney!dinosaur would get to see John strip and turn over into the bed and be all, omg, cover your ass, cover your ass, I'm never going to get this out of my head omg, you have the best. ass. ever. Why can't I move???

And then eventually they figure out Rodney's the dinosaur and he gets turned back, of course.

I like your ideas. They plant little seeds and before you know it, you're like, actually *thinking* about them.
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You can't leave me I said. For if you go, I will only have myself to talk to.

You have only been talking to yourself the whole time I replied, then left.

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