spaggel | A list of things

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A list of things

That I am willing to trade my SOUL for to get.

1. Rodney as a mobster with John as his Mole. Ronon his right hand man and Zelenka as the man that 'breaks' people. Ford as John's amusement to go fly and blow-up things with.

2. The Adventures of Rodneysaur. To quote myself: "Rodney is turned into a tiny stuffed dinosaur and is all "FEAR ME *RAWR*" but they either ignore him, because they cannot see him as he is a foot tall, or hold him and cuddle him and poke his little belly.

And john takes him to bed with him, to eat the monsters under the bed"

Bonus points if Rodneysaur is eating animal crackers and gets pokes in the belly and john rubs it better

3. Cupcake Land

4. The one were john messes up and Rodney programs all the puddle jumpers to *sigh* and *whine* when John gets in. Rodney breaks his SOUL.

5. John and Rodney drunk and start doing stupid drunk things and then Rodney is all, "Yeah, well, you may be the BIGGEST SLUT EVER and have chicks all over you. but my dick is SO MUCH BIGGER and I bet I'm better at it too." And John is all, "whatever *talk to the hand*" and Rodney is all, "no no no, really. See?" And Rodney shows him and John is has to show his, and is all, "Yeah, well, it's not hard so this means NOTHING." and then Rodney gives him a hand job and makes john touch his dick too. And Rodney is still bigger and John is all, "uh, yeah, but, I'M SO MUCH BETTER THEN YOU WITH IT." And then Rodney proves him wrong.

And fer reals. I will trade whatever it takes to get this. WHATEVER. *puts body up for sale*

EDIT: I am SERIOUSLY SERIOUS about #2. Or really, any of them. I WILL DRAW YOU THINGS. I can make little icons or become your slave or WHATEVER. Seriously, serious here.

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Rodney didn't like the lab. Actually, John was pretty sure Rodney hated the lab. He hissed and rarred and made noises John was sure were really filthy dinosaur swear words. He bit Simpson, who was still red-eyed and sniffly. He knocked over something that made an expensive sort of crunch when it hit floor. And he absolutely, positively did not want to go under the scanner Zelenka had set up. John tried beef jerky, Pringles, chocolate and a cupcake with violent yellow icing, but Rodney just grabbed what he could and took off to eat it under a workbench or on top of a cupboard.

"He is worse than a cat," Zelenka said. I think we will have to tranquilise him."

John argued against it, but after an hour chasing Rodney through the lab he had to admit defeat. John enlisted the help of Teyla, Lorne and half a dozen Marines, but he always managed to escape as soon as they tried to get him into the scanner.

"Colonel, I do not think we are going to be able to do this while Rodney is conscious." Teyla didn't seem to like the idea of tranquilising Rodney either, but it looked like they had no other options. Rodney was perched above the door, eating a banana muffin he'd swiped from a passing Marine, and idly walloping anyone walking through the door with his tail.

"Rodney, this is your last chance. You can come down, or you can get shot in the ass with a stunner. It's up to you."

"Rarr!" Rodney said, sprinkling muffin crumbs down onto John's hair.

"Fine!" John stomped off to get a Wraith stunner from the armory. "But don't say I didn't warn you!"

It was a lot harder to shoot Rodney than John expected. As soon as Rodney saw the stunner he scampered up Teyla's leg and tried to hide inside her shirt. John spared a moment to be impressed that Rodney had his head between Teyla's breasts before she reached in and pulled him out by the scruff of his neck.

"Rodney, you will behave, or I will start looking up recipes for rock-lizard stew," Teyla said.

Rodney grumpily allowed himself to be deposited on the scanner, but as soon as Zelenka turned it on, he shot back out and bounced across two workstations and the espresso machine to land neatly on top of the glassware cupboard.

John sighed and raised the stunner. Rodney rarred very quietly and covered his eyes with his claws. A flash of light later and Rodney was slumped over the edge of the cupboard. John felt incredibly guilty as he cradled Rodney's tiny limp body in his arms.

"Sorry, Rodney. We had to do it. It's for your own good." John gently placed him on the scanner and nodded to Zelenka, who started scanning.

"Maybe he knew what was going on and didn't want to change back?" Lorne said.

"Why on Earth would he want to be a dinosaur?" John asked.

"All the attention, beautiful women petting him, all the cupcakes and meatballs he can eat..." Lorne raised his eyebrows.

"No coffee, no talking, no possibility of a Nobel Prize, no sex ever again..." John replied.

"Good point," Lorne said, and they settled down to wait for Zelenka to finish running his simulations.

John tried not to look at Rodney unconscious in the scanner. Zelenka ran around poking various pieces of Ancient technology, and occasionally asking John to activate something or other. Finally Zelenka was finished with Rodney and dumped him back in John's arms.

John held him close, and rubbed the fuzzy patch on top of his head. "I hope he's not too pissed at me for shooting him."

Zelenka looked up. "He will not remember. I am using the physical pattern collected by the transformation device at the time of his transformation as the base for his retransformation. He will return to us in exactly the same state as he left." Zelenka grinned at John. "Did you think I was crazy for stealing his food? It does not matter, he will not remember."

Rodney moved a little and drooled on John's shirt. "Hey there, buddy. You waking up?" John rubbed Rodney's tummy and smiled as Rodney opened one eye and made a disgruntled snort. "Ready to be human again?"

"Rarr!" Rodney said quietly.

This is just adorable. Hee! :)

"Yes, yes. It is all ready now," Zelenka said, "Please put him down and stand back."

John gave Rodneysaur one last squeeze and put him down on the floor. "I feel like I should say 'goodbye' but you're not really going anywhere, are you?"

Rodney rarred nervously and started sucking on the end of his tail.

*ZAPPP*

"And why you... what the hell?" Rodney yelled, sprawled face-down on the floor without a stitch of clothing on.

And now John had a perfect view of Rodney's naked ass. He'd never noticed how... pink Rodney was before. He jumped up and grabbed a spare lab coat and handed it to Rodney as Zelenka helped him up. "Welcome back, Rodney."

"Okay, what's going on? Where's Simpson? And why am I naked?"

Everyone started talking at once.

"You were a dinosaur..."

"There was an accident with the transformation device..."

"Wow, he really doesn't remember the meatballs..."

"Never mind the meatballs, what about Teyla's breasts..."

"EVERYONE BE QUIET NOW!" Zelenka roared. "Please, everyone leave now. I will take Rodney to sick bay and tell him what happened." He made shooing gestures at everyone. "Go!"

John patted Rodney on the head. "It's good to see you, McKay, but you totally owe me one for cleaning up what you did in my shower last night."

The End!

AIEEE! He doesn't remember a thing! *sniffle*

Aw, that was the cutest, crackiest thing ever, and it made my evening. Thank you.

Thanks :) And I'm sure there will be plenty of people lining up to tell him about it ;)

I'm wiggling with joy from reading this. Also, now I crave cupcakes and meatballs and it's all your fault.

I'm craving meatballs myself. My husband usually brings a big bag of ribs home from the supermarket on Sundays, but there were none left today :(

ajksdhkajsdhkj DID LITTLE RODNEYSAUR DO A BIG BOY THING IN THE SHOWER?

And henceforth we shall call him "rodneysaur-ass"

AND THIS WAS MOST WODNERFUL. I will indeed draw more rodneysaur-ass, BUT ALSO! You so deserve more for making this so long and so wonderful and yes, yes'es. *nods head*

Yeah, and it wasn't just your average foul carnivore poop either. There was chocolate bar wrapper and tinfoil and bits of pencil in it. Rodney really owes John for cleaning that up.

And socks, cannot forget the socks. And really, no fiber :(

And really, no fiber :(

LMAO! Hence the grunting noises waking John up in the middle of the night ;)

Rodney was a little plugged up, cupcakes just don't help out you know. Maybe john should of slipped rodney some metamusal.

Love Love loved this.

Thank you :)

AAAAAAAAAHHH.

Yours wins FAR more than mine does. :D Oh, that's gorgeous.

LOL! Thank you :)

And I have to confess... I haven't read yours yet. I was too stoned yesterday to read anything more complicated than 'Post Comment'. I promise, I shall read it today. Just as soon as the coffee kicks in.

Ahahaha. Truly, I see how many comments you got - I've been doing nothing but reply for 24 hours, I can understand why you haven't. Good lord. :D

*loves*

Oh God, yes. This is the second time in two weeks I've written something that broke 100 comments. I've always made a point of replying to every single piece of feedback I get, but... omg. Eventually you run out of ways to say 'thank you for thinking I'm wonderful'. This must be what BNFs feel like O.o

And icon! Bwah!

Re: And I'm back, with more!

spaggel.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 00:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: And I'm back, with more!

maryavatar.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 00:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: And I'm back, with more!

spaggel.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 00:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: And I'm back, with more!

spaggel.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: And I'm back, with more!

maryavatar.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 01:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: And I'm back, with more!

spaggel.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 01:07 (UTC) - Expand

Re: And I'm back, with more!

maryavatar.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 01:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: The Illustrated Adventures of Rodneysaurus

fledge.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 19:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: And I'm back, with more!

vileseagulls.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 00:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: And I'm back, with more!

vileseagulls.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 00:39 (UTC) - Expand

Rarr! for a still gastronomically inclined Rodneysaur.

Rarr! Rarr!! for foot-fetish pool scene and John too scared to skinny-dip.

Rarr! Rarr!! RARR!!! for Rodney still being man enough to check out Teyla's breasts at close quarters. Hmm, that's probably more man than usual. I hope he checked John out well and truly too while the opportunity was at hand.

I loved how Rodney stayed in character (his self-interest certainly didn't diminish with his size) and I adored John's possessive attitude towards him. Actually if I quoted every line I simply adored then I would be quoting the whole crack!tastic story. I must friend you now so I never miss out on such marvelous crack! again.

My crack-fu is strong this week ;)

Can't guarantee it'll last though :p

That's ok. The fact that it's butt-Crack! makes it all worth while. I hope you don't mind if I stick around.

I don't mind at all! It's a little intimidating being friended by 20 people at once, but I have a large ego, I'm sure I shall decide I deserve it any minute now ;)

Re: And I'm back, with more!

rogue-crocodile.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 05:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: And I'm back, with more!

maryavatar.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 05:48 (UTC) - Expand

Re: And I'm back, with more!

rogue-crocodile.livejournal.com - 2006-01-30 07:21 (UTC) - Expand

Rodney rarred very quietly and covered his eyes with his claws

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! OMG SO TINY AND CUTE AND NOT WANTING TO GET SHOT.

Please draw that! Please please please! John all 'I don't want to shoot you little Rodneysaur, but I have no choice' and Rodneysaur all 'Eep, don't shoot me, I'm sorry I ate your sock and crapped in your shower!'

yes of course!!! :D I was thinking it myself, seeing little tiny arms covering his eyes with a little dino frown and little teeth poking out and little belly sticking out because there are no hands to cover it and and and *goes to work*

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