onthecontrary: go straight to the UNDERAGE BOY SEXXING

[spaggel]

The mind is a dirty dirty place and GOD, I WANT LOLITA JOHN WITH RODNEY SEX. SO. BAD.

(ALL CAPS warning)


onthecontrary: http://www.livejournal.com/users/ihatefastcars/241478.html?nc=4
onthecontrary: sldhaskjhda
spaggel: laksjdl
Spaggel: JOHN'S A PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS
onthecontrary: hsaljka John IS a princess
onthecontrary: that's why I love him so
Spaggel: and rodney's his chamber maid
onthecontrary: akjshd his servent who loves him so
onthecontrary: in a snappy, malicious way
Spaggel: but tucks little princess john in at night
Spaggel: reads him storys
onthecontrary:
Spaggel: cleans up his booboos
onthecontrary: kisses his scrapped knees
Spaggel: holds him the first time john crys over getting dumped
Spaggel: YES
Spaggel: alskdj this is turning into lolita john in my mind
onthecontrary: slkdas lolita John would be kinda hot
onthecontrary: but then, I DO LIKE THEM YOUNG
Spaggel: YOU DO
Spaggel: ALL FOR THE SOFT YOUNG FLESH
onthecontrary: j;lskdj as
Spaggel: laksd please write me lolita john fic
onthecontrary: ;sjdlksj I'll make an attempt, my friend
onthecontrary: just for you
onthecontrary: DOES RODNEY HAVE TO BE THE DIRTY LECHEROUS MAN?
Spaggel: YES, YES HE DOES
Spaggel: AND HE WILL BE TORN
Spaggel: HE WILL BE JOHN'S TUTOR
Spaggel: AND, AND
Spaggel: HIS CARE GIVER
onthecontrary: haslkjasjhdkj
Spaggel: BECAUSE SOMETHIGN HAPPENED AND NOW RODNEY CAN'T KEEP HIS ONE JOB
onthecontrary: and he will be married to John's mother?
Spaggel: SO HE BECOMES A TUTOR
Spaggel: weeeeeeell, I dont want him to be
Spaggel: I just want him to have a little apartment and his cat
onthecontrary: awwwwwwwww
Spaggel: THAT'S ALL HE HAS
Spaggel: WHICH IS WHY HE IS TORN



onthecontrary: if I write John as Lolita porn, I'll share it with hklhaekljhalksjhd
onthecontrary: screeeeeeeeeam
Spaggel: kaslks
Spaggel: start it off with, "John had always gone for the older guys"
Spaggel: alksdjla OR NOT aklsdjl
Spaggel: JUST JOHN LOLITA PORN
onthecontrary: go straight to the UNDERAGE BOY SEXXING
Spaggel: YES, THAT PLEASE
Spaggel: OR LIKE AMERICAN BEAUTY
onthecontrary: ashdlkajsh oh my god
Spaggel: AND JOHN IS ALL ABOUT SEDUCING RODNEY
onthecontrary: JOHN SEDUCING
onthecontrary: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Spaggel: AND RODNEY IS IMPROVING HIMSELF
onthecontrary: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
onthecontrary: halksjdhaskj
Spaggel: TO GET AT JOHN
onthecontrary: TO BECOME MORE DESIRABLE
onthecontrary: GOD
Spaggel: STARTS SMOKING POT
onthecontrary: WE ARE TERRIBLE PEOPLE
onthecontrary: AHAHAHAHAHA
Spaggel: WORKS OUT
onthecontrary: WORKING OUT
Spaggel: LKASJDl
onthecontrary: *HIGH FIVES*
Spaggel: *SCORE*
Spaggel: STARTS TO WORK AT DK DONUTS
Spaggel: skldjlaskd
Spaggel: THEN, THEN
Spaggel: They are about to DO IT, OMG and john is all
Spaggel: "um... it's kinda of my first time "
Spaggel: AND RODNEY, HE JUST GOES FOR IT ANYWAYS
Spaggel: alskdjl
onthecontrary: hdalksj *cries*
onthecontrary: but TENDERLY
onthecontrary: HE DOES NOT WANT TO SCAR HIS LITTLE BOY FOR LIFE
onthecontrary: goddamnit, now I'm going to have to rent and rewatch American Beauty
onthecontrary: reincorporate the whole thing
Spaggel: alksjdlkasd PLEASE, PLEASE DO IT
onthecontrary: WHO WOULD BE THE WEIRD CREEPING BOY WITH THE CAMERA?
Spaggel: OR I WILL BEG MY FLIST
Spaggel: FORD
onthecontrary: AHAHAHAHAHA
Spaggel: alksldkj WAIT, NO, TEYLA IS RODNEY'S DAUGHTER
Spaggel: AND RONON
onthecontrary: I WAS JUST THINKING THAT
Spaggel: STALKS HER
onthecontrary: AHAHAHAHAHHA
Spaggel: OR FORD
Spaggel: MAYBE A MIX, TWINS?a
Spaggel: sdlaskdj
onthecontrary: Teyla is the daughter
Spaggel: CALDWELL IS THE FATHER
onthecontrary: AAJSHDLASLKJASHDLK
onthecontrary: ASHDLKAJSDHGAHGSDLAHS
Spaggel: TRIES TO TAP RODNEY'S GAY ASS
onthecontrary: instead of a wife, he has a lab partner
onthecontrary: ZELENKA
Spaggel: RODNEY IS, DONT GO THERE GIRLFRIEND
onthecontrary: hashdhalsj
Spaggel: lasdhklasfklasdjklsdaalsjkdhlaksd
Spaggel: ;zklsjdla
onthecontrary: *crying*



onthecontrary: now I am thinking, perhaps Ford should be Rodney's adopted child
onthecontrary: because John would come and hang out with him
onthecontrary: AND TRY TO BANG HIS OLD MAN
Spaggel: slakdjlaskd
onthecontrary: this is going to require a lot of thought
Spaggel: OF COURSE
Spaggel: please, look into it
onthecontrary: JOHN AND RODNEY WOULD NOT BE CHEERLEADERS THOUGH
onthecontrary: .... or would they
onthecontrary: ahslkdsahdja
onthecontrary: John and Ford, I mean GOD
onthecontrary: SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT, HERE
Spaggel: THEY WOULD BE LITTLE CHEERLEADERS
Spaggel: THE BOYS
Spaggel: so they have someone they can talk about hair styling with
Spaggel: at least JOHN WILL
Spaggel: NEWEST PRODUCTS
Spaggel: COLORS AND SUCH
onthecontrary: laskdjalsk
onthecontrary: even IF I make John and Ford cheerleaders
onthecontrary: IF, I SAY
onthecontrary: THEY WILL NOT WEAR SKIRTS
Spaggel: .... oh
onthecontrary: .... unless Rodney asks John to
onthecontrary: asjkhdalskjhd'
Spaggel: dont hurt me like that
Spaggel: asdaskld
Spaggel: Rodney digs boys in uniform
onthecontrary: yeah, but would John dig a boy in a skirt?
onthecontrary: ... probably
Spaggel: yes, because he is a big mouths whore <3
Spaggel: mouths, mouthed THING
onthecontrary: jashdajksh
Spaggel: JUST A WHORE HOW LIKES TO FLIRT WITH OLD MEN
Spaggel: WHO *sigh*
onthecontrary: god, John in a cheerleading skirt seducing Rodney
onthecontrary: RODNEY WOULD NOT HAVE A CHANCE
Spaggel: And omg, for sleep overs, john would wear a hot pink skirt
Spaggel: and a tub top alskjdl
onthecontrary: okay, for the sake of John's dignity, he is not wearing a skirt in front of Ford
onthecontrary: only Rodney
Spaggel: okay *sigh*
onthecontrary: JOHN HAS A SENSE OF PRIDE
onthecontrary: I CANNOT CRUSH THAT ENTIRELY
Spaggel: NOT WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING LAID
Spaggel: IT DOESNT EXIST
onthecontrary: sdklhasjkahsdh
onthecontrary: HE WILL NOT BE BONING FORD
Spaggel: fine, be that way
onthecontrary: be nice if I am to write Atlantis Beauty, I have to have some say
Spaggel:
onthecontrary: dl;asjdkasjd AS IF YOU ARE REALLY HEARTBROKEN
onthecontrary: INSIDE YOU ARE STILL ESTATIC
onthecontrary: because you are thinking about John in little red spanky pants and a short red skirt, blushing so hard but still sitting on Rodney's lap
onthecontrary: and Rodney trying so hard to behave but eventually feeling him up and stripping his little boy panties off him
onthecontrary: and, like, giving him a rim job over the back of the couch
onthecontrary: WHILE FORD SLEEPS UPSTAIRS
Spaggel: asmdaskdalskdjlask d
Spaggel: I LOVE YOU


Done posting, because unlike John, I do have a sense of modesty.

Comments

[rageprufrock.livejournal.com]

THIS IS THE BEST THING EVAR. PLS WRITE IT NOW MMK?

ALSO AHAHAHHAAH omfg you two are batshit and i love it!!!!1

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

We are only two MODEST YOUNG WOMEN.

Who happen to like to stick John and Rodney into short buses and bad AU's.

Team Tard *winz*

[kickthebeat.livejournal.com]

NOW, THE ULTIMATE QUESTION: WHAT DO I WRITE FIRST? ATLANTIS BEAUTY, OR ATLANTIS: THE BAND?

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

OMG, DON'T ASK ME SUCH HARD QUESTIONS.

*is torn* =((

[rageprufrock.livejournal.com]

OMFG THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION IS CLEARLY BOTH AT ONCE B/C adl;kjfa;ldkj;fasldkjfaskjfls!!!! ATLANTIS THE BAND WOULD BASICALLY RULE MY FACE OFF.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

THE PROBLEM, IS GETTING HER TO WRITE AND. AND. SHE HOLDS OUT ON ME.

I DREW HER LEPRECHAUN FORD. I DEMAND SOMETHING IN RETURN :((

[font.livejournal.com]

You're taunting me, aren't you?

[kickthebeat.livejournal.com]

clearly you have just hit this in my memories, because I moved it to this catagory this afternoon. I am writing right now; if you were to come online, perhaps I would send it to you.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE WRITING IT AND NOT SHOWING ME?

I knew you found some hot new chick.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

PLEASE, DO HELP ME BUG HER TO WRITE IT. I YEARN FOR THIS.

[kickthebeat.livejournal.com]

goddamn you all. TO THINK, THIS IS BY FAR ONE OF THE MORE SANE CONVERSATIONS SPAGS AND I HAVE HAD.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

I think that's only because we are not drunk yet.

[lierdumoa.livejournal.com]

Obviously Ford is the creeping boy with the camera. aotearoagal made the Colin Creevy icon of him to prove it.

Wait. if John is that chick in American Beauty, that means he must have done some modeling stints. Yis. Modeling stints. And perhaps he models underwear. Nerdy underwear with molecules on it. I'm stopping now.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

He did modeling, which is a gateway job to stripping.

lkjd now I think of John in little boy underware with little spaceships and airplanes on them. <3<3

[rageprufrock.livejournal.com]

OKAY NO MENTION OF STRIPPING. SHUSH SHUSH SHUSH

[slodwick.livejournal.com]

You totally get yourself into these situations.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

She does it on purpose. She LIKES IT I THINK.

[rageprufrock.livejournal.com]

I WILL ALSO CUT YOU!!!!!

[rageprufrock.livejournal.com]

I will totally cut you.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

SHOULD I REFER TO IT AS "WHORING HIS DANCING SKILLS?"

[lierdumoa.livejournal.com]

YOU FORGOT THE "Z" IN SKILLZ >:O

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

SORRY :((

SKILLZ

[rageprufrock.livejournal.com]

YOU SHOULD NOT REFER TO IT AT ALL OMFG!!!;lkadjf;lakjdsfla;sdf

I fear the outcome of that story. Seriously. Something bad is going to happen. People are going to...animate things. *SHUDDER*

[lierdumoa.livejournal.com]

YESOMG. Gateway job. Like gateway fandom. Just take a little sniff of the slashy goodness and next think you know everyone is writing crackfic. We must chronicle John's road to destruction. He's not just a short bus special -- HE'S AN AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL TOO.

He would be so cute in his little boy underwear covered in spaceships, sitting on Rodney's lap while Rodney slips his hands under the elastic and tells him all about the improbability of space travel in relativistic conditions and John decides that even if they are dorky, they are definitely his FAVORITE pair of boxer briefs.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

asjdhkajsd He IS a after school special. And he had so MUCH going for him too. *sigh*

Little Buzzerlightyear briefs. To infinity and beyond. aashdjkh teyla, ronon and ford are the little sheep and Rodney is the woody to John's buzz :X

[basingstoke.livejournal.com]

...

Okay, I'm still stuck on Jolita and Rodney Rodney.

This is NOT what I needed in my head right before work.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

I think it's EXCATLY what you need right before work. Think about it, think about it ALL DAY LONG. ahaha.

[slodwick.livejournal.com]

Dear GOD. I will never, ever have to feel bad about myself, or think that perhaps I've gone over the line with my cracked ideas. EVER.

*HART*

Also, yes write this plez omg.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

hehe, we rule on in crack ideas. RULEZ. asjdh I think it's the drink :-<

just poke at onthecontrary a lot. she STILL HASN'T MADE MY HIGHSCHOOL AU. That's WHORE.

[slodwick.livejournal.com]

And see, I was going to have shame when scrunchy and I started picking out what breed each SGA'er would be if they were dogs, but then I remembered you two, and EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND I LAUGHED.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

aklsjdl

I enjoy being a scapegoat.

[rageprufrock.livejournal.com]

OMFG.

ad;lkjad;slkfja;lea;lkdfslkx.

*small voice* I may be able to help you with that HS AU thing. Because I am writing it. Now. Even as we speak. omfg */small voice*

a;lkejr;awoujdf;lskfld.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

omg, uh, omg.

She, uh, we want John is be ni a high school band. And rodney is a raver and. JOhn rides the short bus for FUN and to get cookies and, omg, rodney DJ's on the side with Zelenka to make big dollars and all his bling bling is candy necklaces and pop rings. Um, well, John is going to leave rodney for planes BUT HE COVERS BOYS DONT CRY AT THE SCHOOL TALENT SHOW. SHE SINGS IT FOR RODNEY.
asjdhk

abnd alksjd *is incoherent*

[kickthebeat.livejournal.com]

DO NOT BLAME ALL THIS ON ME

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

I will take part of the blame. AT LEAST THE CURE COVER. THAT I KNOW IS ME.

[kickthebeat.livejournal.com]

of course the initial idea of the high school AU was yours; I remembered the post you wrote about the possibilities and just expanded upon certain aspects of it. because music is my thing and pretty boy rockers are my bag, it's turned into the adventures of Atlantis, John's high school garage band; because spags is the balls-to-the wall insane genius to my plebian number-wielding footsoldier, Ford is our drumline prodigy talked into playing by neighbourly, bass-playing Carson, Rodney became a wackass raving DJ, and Radek a pimping European guitarist with an affinity for hair metal. Teyla is the hottest exchange student ever (naturally) who does the occaisional guest vocal because she has her eye on Zelenka (SPAGS' IDEA), and Liz rounds it out as the manager who books shows at the roller rink (lame) and THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS (amazing).

basically, it's all the world's most dumbass way to get Rodney into a candy necklace, Zelenka into leather pants, and John singing The Cure to a crowd full of people.

you know, I like to think of myself as a rational, intelligent person but when it comes to John Sheppard I seem to have no sense of shame. trust me, though; my embarrassment here knows no bounds.

[rageprufrock.livejournal.com]

There's...there's really just not that much I can say to that, you know? Except for in my HS AU Rodney gets hit in the face by a football and bleeds all over John's car like a stuck pig, and that makes me FEEL REAL SPECIAL ON THE INSIDE.

OMFG you have to write Atlantis the bad, though, you HAVE TO.

[vic-ramsey.livejournal.com]

Best and hottest thing ever! Damn, I'll be in my bunk.

[spaggel.livejournal.com]

JUST WAIT, I AM BUGGING THE HELL OUT OF onthecontrary TO WRITE IT. ONLY A MATER OF TIME.