spaggel | OH GOD, HELP

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art: sga

OH GOD, HELP

Just worked a 10am to 10pm shift today. (this was a waken up at 7am to a getting called into work 4 hours early shift) I feel like I have giving my soul up, MY VERY SOUL. So I just want a little something to ask of the world, and really? fandom.

WOULD YOU PLEASE WRITE RODNEYSAUR/JOHNRAPTOR FIC? MANIPS? I GIVE CANDY AND COOKIES AND OTHER THINGS.

example:
cookiesnbooze: WITH JOHN TAPING HIS LITTLE CLAW WAITING FOR RODNEYSAUR TO SHUT UP
cookiesnbooze: AND THEN PUSHING HIM ON HIS BACK
cookiesnbooze: AND RODNEYAUR WAVING HIS LITTLE ARMS AROUND
lcsbanana: APPROVED

But really, all I want is something so freaking dorky and stupid, teyla ass raping people, john writing in his little journal where he stores the bitter tears of his emo youth? maybe a photomanip of assbabies? LIKE IN CHOPCHICA'S FIC? Really, I promises I will do WHATEVER YOU WANT IN RETURN. Just something to ease the pain for 12hour shifts this week :(

EDITED FOR EXAMPLE:

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cookiesnbooze: WITH JOHN TAPING HIS LITTLE CLAW WAITING FOR RODNEYSAUR TO SHUT UP
cookiesnbooze: AND THEN PUSHING HIM ON HIS BACK
cookiesnbooze: AND RODNEYAUR WAVING HIS LITTLE ARMS AROUND

And then Johnraptor scratches Rodneysaur's tummy with a claw and Rodneysaur makes some little grumbling noises but his eyes go all slitted and his tail is twitching happily, and Johnraptor bites his chin. There's a sudden burst of wild thrashing as they wrestle and roll together, nipping each other with teeth, claws scrabbling madly, with little snarly, muttery, dinosaur growls, like an argument's going on, then Rodney starts doing this repetitive kicky thing with one leg, like a dog does when it's being rubbed in a happy place, aaaannnnnnd...we fade to black.

(But the throaty muttery sounds continue until they sound more like a series of moans, followed by some yips, and finally sighs.)

I... I love you. YOURE SO PRETTY :((.

...Does rodneysaur bite chayaraptors head off when she comes lifting her skanky tail up around john? DOES HE?

Oh yeah. There's one of those long epic fights like in bad Godzilla movies, where they bounce around and do hi-keeba! moves while ~~little Japanese boys~~ John and Teyla and Ronon look on in awe. And just as the Chayaraptor looks like she's going to win the day with her skanky tail power, Rodneysaur gives a mighty roar and chomps down on her throat and holds on like a bulldog as it bleeds all over the place, and he chews his way through until her head falls clean off. And the little Japanese boys cheer and then a spaceship swoops down and beams Rodneysaur and Johnraptor and the rest of their team to safety. Then there are cupcakes. The end!

YAY!! Cupcakes, YAY!!

Go Team Rodney!

Dancing cupcakes!

OMG, does rodneysaur get those awesome godzilla sounds? :0 *GASPS IN DELIGHT*

SO MANY CUPCAKES, what if one of them egts a caity? Huh?HUH? where will we be then in this world of cupcakes? :((

They're actually the Sentient Cupcake People, attacking in their own space ship, which sets up our heroes for the sequel. Sequel!Yay!

(Of course, this doesn't necessarily mean that Rodney won't eat them.)

Do they side with the pastry people, only to turn on them and use them for food and ammo when it looks like things look grim? :0

Will rodneysaur get cavities and have a tooth pulled an johnraptor hold his hands and cry over him and then they finally admit they love each other, only for johnraptor to realize he is carrying rodneysaurs baby, but they havn't done it yet. So Johnraptor is the virginsaur the acient scrolls were talking about that would lead them to the new world, atlantis?

...my mom makes me watch soaps with her. :(

my mom makes me watch soaps with her. :(

Well, it doesn't seem to have permanently affected your brain, anyway.

*shifty look*

...I think that's a dirty lie. Soaps have ruined me and I need a steady diet of crack to make up for it.

Huh. I always thought soaps were just a glorified form of crack ^.^

or does it not count if they don't do it on purpose?

So Johnraptor is the virginsaur the acient scrolls were talking about that would lead them to the new world, atlantis?

It's like you read my mind! :D

By the way, the Seattle Aquarium recently held its annual Octopus Week Celebration. *pauses to contemplate the beauty of Octopus Week Celebration* So I share with you this story from the Seattle PI:

"What are they doing?" the little boy asked six straight times, gazing at a popular Seattle Aquarium tank Tuesday.

"How did they do that, Grandma?"

Grandma, unlike Mikala the octopus, took evasive action. The "Octopus Week" biology lesson came, anyway, after a nearby teenager yelled to his friend, "Hey, Josh! They're mating!"

All righty, then.

Maybe it was the dozen red roses in the tank, or the mood music, or the fact that octopus expert Roland Anderson changed the tank's water flow to spur Mikala and Lancelot to at least move into the same tank.

It would not be the first time the Aquarium has tried to breed octopuses, Anderson said, but it is a tricky and unpredictable business.

Magic or method, a delighted Valentine's Day crowd watched as the female Mikala, previously refusing to budge off rocks in her tank, swam with all eight arms towards Lancelot's tank through a "tunnel of love."

The two previously had touched arms, "tasting" each other with their suction cups or "suckers" through a perforated barrier blocking the tunnel. But they hadn't had a chance to mate until Tuesday afternoon, when a diver removed the tunnel barrier.

It took awhile. Lancelot remained stuck to the same spot in his tank for more than an hour. Usually, Anderson said, the male octopus makes the moves.

"He has no clue what's going on," groaned a female Aquarium volunteer.

Mikala, perhaps agreeing, swam toward him and reached to within 8 inches of the anti-Casanova with a gracefully arching arm.

"She is so ready; she's really being aggressive," said Anna Fabrizio, a Mount Rainier High School student and Aquarium volunteer.

Mikala then fanned out her arms to their full 7-foot span, as if flashing Lancelot, and suddenly a collective "Whoooooaaaaaa!" went up as Lancelot "pounced" and two octopuses and 16 arms floated to the bottom of the tank in one unified clump.

"That was hot!" offered one male onlooker.

"It was like aquatic ballet," said a female onlooker.

Or, as a Seattle Aquarium interpreter put it, "They are occupying the same spot in the tank."

Anderson said although the telltale sign of a "spermatophore" -- a spaghettilike strand of sperm -- was not visible, he believed the mating between two 3-year-old, 30-pound octopuses will prove successful. Mikala will be monitored to see if she lays eggs.

Octopuses, "the smartest invertebrates by far," are solitary animals. They are asocial though not anti-social. They come together to mate and then die, an evolutionary sacrifice much like Pacific salmon, Anderson said.

Lancelot, like other male octopuses, will be released before that happens, Anderson said, and the Aquarium will bring in other octopuses.

"It's kind of sad," Anderson said. "But octopuses only live three to four years. That may seem short to us, but it's a full life span to an octopus."

There is also a photo with a caption that says "To celebrate Valentine's Day, staff at the Aquarium tried to coax their two resident octopuses into a blind date of sorts."

This...is perhaps not relevant to your post.

RODNEY IS THE OBLIVIOUS OCTOPUS

John is like, "LOOK AT ME THROWING MYSELF AT YOU" and Rodney the Octopus is like, "Check out these rocks, they are interesting!" and John is like "*FLASHES*" and Rodney is like, "OH OKAY"

and oh holy shit I clearly need to be asleep RIGHT NOW. this is not my thought process.

what you said.

look, look at what you've done to me, I never used to think about octopi sex.

tentacles. fuck.

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spaggel.livejournal.com - 2006-02-26 23:07 (UTC) - Expand

clearly, you do not need to be in fandom to try and make animals have kinky sex.

It is only kinky if you don't have tentacles of your own. Don't be so speciesist!

Wheeee! Octopus love on Valentine's Day! That's awesome.

I think I am going to bite my finger off because I am biting down THAT HARD to stop from making loud shrill squeeee noises and waking up my parents. Curse you.

. . . not really.

The cursing bit, I mean.

YOU HAVE DINOSAURCOMICS ICONS.

Where'd you get them?

Hee. I made them. I'm actually working on some others and will post & offer them soon, and then you can have some! :)

Tweehee. *dinosaur squee dance*

will there be slashy ones?

I hadn't even thought of that! Hmm. *does the Dr. Evil pinky thing*

But you have to!

I mean . . . T-Rex and Utahraptor! The great drama of their lost college-days romance! The continuing thinly-veiled sexual tension that they both deny! It must be made into icons so that all can know their true pain!

. . .

maybe I shouldn't be online at 2 AM while drinking giant cans of iced tea.

Is there any way to bribe you into writing more of this? Hmmmmmmm? Please? *tries to look cute like a hedgehog*

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